"Hero" - Skillet Saturday 7 - Written by Jasmyn Wright

Its been far too long since I've posted anything. And I hope ya'll can forgive me.  Life has been hard the last few months.  Its been a real struggle for me to want to write.  But I'm feeling more inspired these days and I can't wait for all the posts that will come in 2014! So bear with me!  In the meantime, I'd like to introduce you all to an amazing writer and dear friend of mine, Jasmyn Wright, who I asked to write a guest post for me.

Of course she is as Skillet crazy as I am since we met at the Road to Rise tour, so it seemed only fitting to have her write something for my blog.  Enjoy!

*****

"I'm just a step away...I'm a just a breath away...losin my faith today...Falling off the edge today. I'm not superhuman. I need a hero!"

 In life I believe everything has meaning. There's nothing in the universe that doesn't. Patterns and rhythms...we might think are just coincidence, but they're not. Just as it wasn't a coincidence for my friend, KayLeigh to have asked me to write something for her Skillet blog series on her blog, song of songs. I believe it was ment to happen. It is my chance to tell my story of how I've been delivered with the inspiring band Skillet. 

  My journey is long and weary, but thank God for a band who knows how to word my feelings exactly. (:

 The start of my journey was when I was a defenseless child_ sexually abused by a close family member who was supposed to be protecting me rather than hurting me. 

    "Someone save me from the hate." 

 But I believe that it was the devil just expressing his hate toward me because he knew the strong woman of God I was going to be. And I know this because that abuse only happened that one time. And never again.  

  But although it never happened again, it did leave me with a on and off battle to fight. A battle that I thought I was alone in, and I sadly continuously let the devil talk me into believing I was never going to win. I never once thought what happened was my fault, but I did believe that something was wrong with me. 

    

   "Just a step from the edge..."

 For years I struggled with self-hate and self-abuse. I never thought anything I did was good enough. Even though I had plenty of godly, loving family members around to talk to and confide in, I never did because I allowed the devil to speak louder to me than God; I decided to listen to his voice rather than my personal hero. Jesus. 

  As years past by, I started blaming myself and what happened to me for my many failures. But the truth was, I was never doing my best because I was scared to succeed and I thought I wasn't worthy of being truly happy. 

   

"I gotta fight today, to live another day."

   I was fourteen, If I'm correct, when I first heard Skillet. I was playing smack down Vs. Raw with my two brothers and one sister. And the song (Hero) played on the root menu. I immediately fell in love with Jen's voice, and I pictured John's voice of a tall, lumberjack type of guy. Lol. (which he kinda does look like one when he has his full beard.)

(Best pic I could find of John's beard lol and Jenn too)

  I remember asking my brother over and over to play that game just so I could hear that song- I also found out that Monster was on there as well. Another song I love. (: 

 So shortly after I started looking up the songs and found Skillet. Their music changed my life, and although I listened to other types of Godly music, theirs was different in how it made me feel. 

 But as much as I wish I could say that from that day, the self-abuse situation stopped. It didn't. It was a pit that I'd dug myself into for years; and climbing out wasn't a one day journey. I had to go through a lot of self-doubt to even get to the place where I would allow myself to hear God's voice over the devils. 

   "The countdown begins to destroy ourselves!"

 But I will never forget the day when I finally and clearly heard the precious voice of my hero. 

    It was the time when I was so done with trying to get free from this battle. Nothing seemed to work out. EVERYTHING seemed to be falling apart. I ran from God's voice and listened back to the voice of the person who's hated me from the beginning. Who's held me down for so long, just so I would think suicide was the only way out. 

"I need a Hero, to save my life!"

And there I was, knife to waist. Tears on cheeks. Heart beating fast. No one around. Or so I thought...

"Who's gonna fight for what's right,

Who's gonna help us survive,

We're in the fight of our lives!

And we're not ready to die!

Who's gonna fight for the weak,

Who's gonna make 'em believe,

I've got a Hero

Livin' in me!"

My hero was there and he whispered... 

    "DON'T GIVE UP ON ME."

"A Hero'll save me just in time!" 

And here I am today, almost nineteen years old. I only give God the glory for that. If it was up to the devil, I would have die at only the age of fourteen. I'm not all I should be. But thanks to my hero Jesus I'm now not how I used to be. I can't even remember the last time I caused harm to myself or even hated myself. I love myself and the people I surround myself with each day; they're encouraging. And when I finally told my parents the truth, I found out that the devil was wrong. They were they for me and always will be. I now know how much God loves me. He loves me so much he gave his own life so that I could have life. (:

"A Hero's not afraid to give His life,

A Hero's gonna save me just in time!"

John Chpt. 19  --- Story of Christ rescuing us. 

*****
"Hero"  - Skillet Official music video

"Hero" - Lyric video

*****
"Hero"  - Lyrics -  From CD Awake

I'm just a step away
I'm just a breath away
Losin' my faith today
(Fallin' off the edge today)

I am just a man
Not superhuman
(I'm not superhuman)
Someone save me from the hate

It's just another war
Just another family torn
(Falling from my faith today)
Just a step from the edge
Just another day in the world we live

[Chorus:]
I need a hero to save me now
I need a hero (save me now)
I need a hero to save my life
A hero'll save me (just in time)

I've gotta fight today
To live another day
Speakin' my mind today
(My voice will be heard today)

I've gotta make a stand
But I am just a man
(I'm not superhuman)
My voice will be heard today

It's just another war
Just another family torn
(My voice will be heard today)
It's just another kill
The countdown begins to destroy ourselves

[Chorus]

I need a hero to save my life
I need a hero just in time
Save me just in time
Save me just in time

Who's gonna fight for what's right
Who's gonna help us survive
We're in the fight of our lives
(And we're not ready to die)

Who's gonna fight for the weak
Who's gonna make 'em believe
I've got a hero (I've got a hero)
Livin' in me

I'm gonna fight for what's right
Today I'm speaking my mind
And if it kills me tonight
(I will be ready to die)

A hero's not afraid to give his life
A hero's gonna save me just in time

[Chorus]

I need a hero
Who's gonna fight for what's right
Who's gonna help us survive

I need a hero
Who's gonna fight for the weak
Who's gonna make 'em believe
I need a hero
I need a hero

A hero's gonna save me just in time

*****

Catch up on the other Skillet Saturdays:

1. Rise
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/07/rise-skillet-saturday-1.html

2. Sick of It
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/sick-of-it-skillet-saturday-2.html

3. Good to Be Alive
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/good-to-be-alive-skillet-saturday-3.html

4.  Salvation
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/salvation-skillet-saturday-4.html

5. Hard to Find
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/hard-to-find-skillet-saturday-5.html

6.  Cutting through the ( American Noise)
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/09/cutting-through-american-noise-skillet.html

****

Thanks so much for reading and huge thanks to Jasmyn for being a guest writer! I hope you all have a Happy New Year and a Blessed 2014!!! 

P.S. Skillet Saturday will continue and finish the Rise CD in January 2014.  

~Love and Blessings, KayLeigh

"Cutting Through The (American Noise)" - Skillet Saturday 6: By Bert Starzer

This guest post is written by fellow writer Bert Starzer, Author of "Hershey The Hound of Hope: In Search of Her Forever Home"

Link to Bert's Blog and his Website:  (Below)

http://bnatl.wordpress.com/2013/09/19/cutting-through-the-american-noise/ 

www.hopedistributionstudios.com


******

I have never asked to be apart of a blog much less any writing exercise on the web.  However, when I came across KayLeigh's blog, Song of Songs 8:4, and her recent series based off the rock band Skillet and their latest CD release, Rise, I really felt my spirit stir with excitement.  Not only had I found another writer who shares a love for my most favorite band in the entire world, but KayLeigh's passion and desire to delve deeper into the songs really captured me.  I've been following along each week as she has used a very personal touch in sharing what the music of Skillet has meant to her and how God has continually shown His love.

In my entire life I have never come across a band who has spoken to the very core of what I am going through in my life than Skillet.  Ever since I have been listening to them, from their self titled album Skillet, it has felt like John Cooper, lead singer and bass player, has been keeping a diary of my life.  Through the good times as well as the hard times, you could pick any Skillet album and a song and I would be able to tell you exactly what was going on in my life at that time.  What's amazing to me is just when I believe this will never happen again, the next album comes out and again I am floored by the accuracy of the lyrics and my life at the time.  Rise has been no different.  In fact, with this album I am thinking of getting a restraining order to make sure Mr. Cooper isn't eaves dropping on my conversations with God, LOL!!  All kidding aside the song that has been stirring me lately is titled “American Noise”.

"Angry words and honking cars
Satellites and falling stars
Distant dark blue radios that whisper down my boulevards
Ghosts and chains rattle in the attic
Broken headphones filled with static
Lonely room you’ve got nowhere to run"

As some of you may know, I self published my first children's book titled 'Hershey the Hound of Hope (In Search Of Her Forever Home)' and with self publishing in order to create any amount of buzz you need to spend a good bit of time doing the social media tour.  Prior to the release of Rise I had been fairly active on Twitter and Facebook.  I had also opened a Pheed account and linked all of my sites together so I wouldn't have to make redundant posts.  You can say I am a social media geek.  Any way, while I have met some very awesome people on the sites I had been telling myself I was doing the social media tour to advertise my book.  While I had done some advertising and promotion at the same time I had become addicted to them and was spending hours just reading, responding and creating various messages.  I neglected my sleep and after several months of only getting around 4-5 hours of sleep a night my immune system shut down.  I became extremely sick with strep throat that nearly went into pneumonia.  Now while mine is only a cautionary tale and not as severe or tragic as some other experiences, it was during this time God began to seek me.

"Times will be bad, times will be good
Things I wish I hadn’t done and some I wish I would
Cutting through the American noise
You’ve got a voice and a song to sing (and a song to sing)
Drink deep in the morning
Drink deep in the morning
See what the day will bring"

I've been a follower of Jesus Christ now for 20 years and I can say my walk has not been the ideal model.  However, I know that through everything God has always been there with me.  Encouraging me and loving me, desiring my best.  Shortly before I became sick one of my best friends gave me a book that a mutual friend had given her to give to me.  The title of the book is 'How To Stop The Pain' by Dr. James B. Richards.  Now every day for a month or two after receiving the book I clearly heard God tell me I needed to read the book.  And every day I continued to ignore God.  In stead I chose to spend my time playing in the social media world and ignore God's best for my life. 

Now to peel away just another layer of the onion to allow you to see a bit deeper, while I was busy social networking and ignoring God, I had begun to battle depression once again.  I have for many years battled what I call 'cycles of life'.  You know those seasons where you are on top of the world for a week to a month and then you gradually fall to the point where it feels impossible to pull yourself out of bed the next day and it continues till you ride the very same roller coaster the next week to a month?  Well if you haven't had those struggles feel very blessed.  Most of my issues were tied to self esteem and my world view which began to bring me to a complete free fall and it was beginning to be documented on my Twitter, Facebook and Pheed time lines.  It was as though self destruction was inevitable.  Then I got sick.  So sick I was out of work for over a week.  So sick the only activity I wanted to participate in was sleeping, period.  During this time I decided to yield my will and listen to the lover of my soul and so I began to read.  For those who know me well know I am not a reader.  I know it sounds weird, an author who doesn't read, but yep, that is me. As I began to read however, God began to show me where my mind set was off.  Where I had not forgiven some in my heart and most importantly how my own concept of Him and His love was so far off base it was holding me back from partaking in all of His promises and even more I was missing out on living a life free from the pain I had been engaged in battle with for so long.  To make a long story short Jesus with His ever loving arms delivered me once again.  This time however, He illustrated to me by His deep and passionate love how to use all the tools He has already provided and let me say freedom has never tasted so sweet. 

"La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise
La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise"

It's been nearly two months now since I was sick and two months since I last battled any type of depression.  It has also been two months since I have ventured into any social media sites.  Most of the updates have come strictly through my web site, Hope Distribution Studios.  I have to admit to peeking on my Facebook app.  However, my time on social sites is practically zero.  So what does all this have to do with Skillet and the song American Noise?

"No matter who you are you've got a voice
Why don’t you use it
Sing your own song take all the noise
And make it into music"

Every day we are bombarded by social media, TV and the latest craze.  We no longer need the use of a lap top or desktop because we have the entire social media sphere at our finger tips with our phones.  I am in no way saying we need to ditch technology and I am not even advocating limits of usage or some legalism type system for me or you.  Rules and legalistic rituals are very far from God's heart and love.  What I am saying is this, God loves you and is wanting to converse with you.  The only One who truly knows what you are going through and truly desires your best interest is speaking and you have a choice.  Allow God to cut through all of the 'American Noise' and speak to you or continue to ignore the true lover of your soul, and miss out on the life only Jesus can give you.   Jesus said, “come to me all who labor and are heavy labored and I will give you rest”.  Are you struggling with life?  Are you seeking an answer for the pain you relieve day in and day out?  Have you ever felt true love?  A love that you never have to work for or try to earn but is right in front of you?  Don't allow the 'American Noise' silence God's voice.  Don't allow the 'American Noise' to keep you from God's gift.  All it takes are 4 simple words.  Jesus Please Save Me.  Open your heart to Him and you will never be disappointed.  I chose to cut through the 'American Noise', and my prayer is you do as well.  Thank you for your time and a very special thanks to KayLeigh for her inspiration and allowing God to use her in an amazing way.  Keep up the awesome work my fellow Pan Head!!  Now, it's time to RISE!!

If after reading this you would like more info or you would like to ask me any questions I will be more than happy to help you.

Coming soon a new series on Faith and Love.  Please stay tuned to Hope Distribution Studios at www.hopedistributionstudios.com

******

Lyric Video for "American Noise" (Above)

"American Noise"

Angry words and honking cars
Satellites and falling stars
Distant dark blue radios that whisper down my boulevards
Ghosts and chains rattle in the attic
Broken headphones filled with static
Lonely room you’ve got nowhere to run

3, 2, 1 for all and all for 1

Times will be bad, times will be good
Things I wish I hadn’t done and some I wish I would
Cutting through the American noise
You’ve got a voice and a song to sing (and a song to sing)
Drink deep in the morning
Drink deep in the morning
See what the day will bring

La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise
La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise

Slamming doors and cell phone rings
Hurricane force of silent screams
Don’t know what to believe
Bend the rule just to break it
You're so tired 'cause you're gotta fake it
But you just wanna be someone

3, 2, 1 for all and all for 1

Times will be bad, times will be good
Things I wish I hadn’t done and some I wish I would
Cutting through the American noise
You’ve got a voice and a song to sing (and a song to sing)
Drink deep in the morning
Drink deep in the morning
See what the day will bring

La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise
La da da da
Lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise

No matter who you are you’ve got a voice
Why don’t you use it
Sing your own song take all the noise
And make it into music

La da da da
La da da da
La da da daaaa
La da da da
La da da da
La da da daaaaaaa

La da da da lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise
La da da da you have a choice
Let love cut through the American noise
You’ve got a voice
Let love cut through the American noise

*****

Catch up on the other Skillet Saturdays:

1. Rise
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/07/rise-skillet-saturday-1.html

2. Sick of It

http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/sick-of-it-skillet-saturday-2.html

3. Good to Be Alive
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/good-to-be-alive-skillet-saturday-3.html

4.  Salvation
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/salvation-skillet-saturday-4.html

5. Hard to Find
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/hard-to-find-skillet-saturday-5.html

******

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Worship Wednesday

This worship Wednesday fits good with this upcoming Saturdays post.  Hope ya enjoy :)

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Hillsong cover by Sarah Reeves (Link Below)

http://youtu.be/Jhf6XHvMHqE

*****
We've been singing this song "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - by Hillsong at church for several weeks now.  The more I hear it, and the more I listen to the lyrics, the more they become my prayer.

We all want that amazing faith based relationship with God, yet there's not many of us that actually go after it.  When He tells us to jump off the cliff into the deep dark swirling waters, we often hesitate. We look down too long and end up freaking ourselves out.  The voices in our head are shouting don't jump! Look how far down that is! DO you know how cold that water is? Its so dark.  What If I don't resurface? What if I drown because I'm fighting to hard against the current? What if?

We all have times in our lives where like Jonah from the bible (Jonah and the whale/fish, you've probably heard of him if you've spent any time in church.) we try and run from God.  We run  from places we're supposed to go, we put off events we're supposed  to do, we push away people that are supposed to be in our lives.   Jonah didn't trust God enough to go to Ninevah and preach the gospel, he didn't trust that God knew what he was doing.  Are you sure you want me to go there God? I think those crazy people in Ninevah are kinda a lost cause.  #justsaying

"You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand"

Two years ago I started teaching a group of middle school aged girls on Wednesday nights, (which I still teach today).  When my youth pastor asked me to teach them, I told him he was crazy.  I wasn't and I'm still not the best christian or godly person around.  I said I wasn't the best person for the job.  But he told me I had a big caring heart and I loved God.  He said that's all you need.  God will give you the words to say, if you just let him use you.

 And like Jonah, I put off teaching for awhile, even though I knew that's what God wanted me to do.  I didn't want to be a leader. What If  I lead them the wrong way, or couldn't answer their tough questions.

I remember my time in the belly of the whale, it wasn't fun.  We all have those icky moments in between running from God and having a brick wall thrown in front of us. The God prompts.   I remember the moment inside my whale where I finally told God I would let him use me to teach and love this group of girls.

"And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine"

Someone told me God doesn't call the equipped, He calls those who are unequipped so that they have to rely on Him.  And its so true.  I love all my girls. I can't picture myself not being their leader and friend. Watching them grow the last two years, and me growing right along with them.  There have definitely been periods of time where I wanted to pull my hair out and wonder what the heck I was even doing. Especially when I was asked hard questions that I didn't have good answers to.  Times where I was extremely selfish (more recently the last few months) and wanted to leave and move on (Like Jonah).  I have often felt way to inexperienced to be their leader.  But God is still working on me.  God has shown me recently that I'm just what they need.  They need someone who shows them on a daily basis that I'm far from perfect but that I still strive to be a good Godly person.  They need someone to listen to them pour their hearts out, and someone to love them. In a million years I wouldn't have picked myself to teach them, But I'm glad God and many others saw what I didn't see in myself at the time.  I'm so glad God loves them 1000 times more than I ever could...

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now"

*****
And this is my prayer....

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

My Beautiful Girls <3


God, Thank you for everything you have been showing me lately.  (Especially the things I didn't appreciate at first.)  Be with all my beautiful girls and help me continue to lead them onto your path.  My faith is being made stronger the more I teach them.  Thank you Jesus for being our Savior.  For saving me. I love you. And I love those girls. 

When you pray prayers like that, that's when the Devil throws crap at you to slow you down.  And I'm sorry to say I've been slowed down. That I've felt defeated lately.  So keep me and my girls in your prayers.  I would greatly appreciate it.  

~KayLeigh
P.s. Check out Jonahs story in : Jonah Chpt. 1. starting in verse 1 - 

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

*****
If you like this post you may want to check out my first "Worship Wednesday" 

http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2012/08/lift-me-up-aftersworship-wednesday1.html

"Hard to Find" Skillet Saturday 5

And this is why I don't date. 

I was asked recently by more than one female, the age old question that the majority of girls sit and ponder hours and shed countless tears over. 

"Why do guys (or girls) play with peoples hearts? Why do they lead you on and play games with you only to get bored and find a more interesting game?  Telling you they care for you, then dropping you like your hot and leaving you to get cold on the floor."

The cruel vicious cycle of flirting, talking and dating = heartbreak 99% of the time.  The game we all say that we hate, yet continue to play.  

"Turned on the TV yesterday
So much pain bleeding through I had to look away
But inside me the picture’s just the same
And every time I open up my eyes nothing seems to change

It never seems to change"
Towards the middle of last year I had this guy I went to church with start showing interest in me.  I had been single for a few months and I enjoyed the attention this guy was giving me.  It felt nice to have a guy say nice things to me and comment on my appearance.  What girl doesn't love flattery? 

This guy was was super charming, and I would find out the hard way that he was quite the lady charmer and into playing games with every girl  he could convince to play the game.

I turned him down a few times saying I wasn't looking for another relationship anytime soon.  But guys love a challenge.  He kept pursuing me, (I finally let my guard down) and he eventually tricked me into going out with him.   (**Helpful hint** Ladies-- When a guy says he'll pay for you and its just as friends--- its a lie!  Lies!!! He wouldn't pay if he wasn't interested in you. Moving on.) 

After the date ended, he tried to kiss me.  I was like, "Whoa, dude! This is not happening. I'm not one of those easy girls that kisses someone their not dating."  I continued to tell him about my non-kissing vow/commitment that I had made to God. How I was saving my first kiss until I was engaged/married.  He told me how cool a commitment that was and how he wished all girls thought the same way. 

Dumbly and because I was asking for trouble, I went out with him a few more times.   And when the date would end, he still tried to kiss me each time. After the second time, I decided to ignore the red flags I saw. ( I enjoyed being liked. Who doesn't?)

 I found my self in a not so good situation and had to almost smack him away.   

"Something woke me in the night
In the midst of the darkness I recognize the light
Now inside me the picture seems so clear
All the dying in my broken dreams is starting to appear"

He finally tells me he had dated a girl that said she had the same no-kissing rule and after taking her on a few dates, she quickly broke that rule.  

"You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find

Faith is hard to find"

He continues to tell me that he didn't like me. That he only started talking to me because he thought I would be easy. And because he hadn't sucked face with anyone in a few months. (Yes he told me that.) He found my personality annoying and my beliefs ridiculous (too strong for him).  "How do you know if you'd wanna date someone without kissing them several times first?"  

I was crushed.  At the moment hearing this so called "good christian guy" say all that to me, it confirmed what a lot of girls think about guys.  That guys only care about one thing. 
"If I fall will you hold on to me
Through it all promise you won’t lose me
These days hope is hard to come by
And tonight I don’t know how I can’t survive

These ladies that brought up the questions about why are guys players, ask me yet more questions.  "If God has a reason for everything, and knows everything that is going to happen in my life, then why did he allow this person to do this________? Why did He let this person even come into my life if it was only to hurt me?  What lesson am I supposed to learn?"

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."   ~Proverbs 4.23 (New Living Translation)


When I got home after the guy brutally crushed me, I just stood in my driveway and cried. I cried hard and yelled at God.  Asking Him why?  Why God??? Why did you let him use me like that??? I remember singing "praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns and several other worship songs. Just pouring my heart out to God in the driveway. Red faced, tears and all, I told God I was sorry for trying to give my heart away to someone who wasn't meant to have it.  I was sorry for feeling so desperate to have a guys attention.  Even when it put me in a bad situation.  

You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find"

Crying, singing, and praying, I had this overwhelming peace wave wash over me. I felt truly happy.  I was glad I had experienced what happened. It brought me so much closer to God.   God told me, I have to have faith in Him to believe that He has a great love story written for me if I just hand him the pen and let him have control. 

 But we love control, and that's what makes it so hard. It's so hard to hand your life and your choices over and let someone else decide for you, to let someone else do the driving lol.  

But God's Timing is always perfect. Never too early, never too late.

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
    Do not arouse or awaken love
    until it so desires."  ~Song of Songs 8:4

I'm now able to put what happened in the past behind me and move on. And I made it through that hurtful night.  God gives me the strength to keep my commitment to Him even when its hard and its the last thing I want to do. 

 God is constantly shining a light in my life ,blinding me sometimes to make me stop and shield my eyes, while other times burning bright enough for me to see anything in the darkness.  His light shines the most when faith is hard to find. 

 The light in the darkness of this story is that the pain pushed me closer to God. I didn't see it at the time, But since I experienced that, I've been able to help others (or at least I hope so).  And God revealed it was time for me to start writing-- this blog was born.   This post is dedicated to three special friends in my life right now.  

 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." ~Philippians 4.13 

*Check back on Wednesday for my bonus post that I missed last week.

Love, KayLeigh

*******
If you enjoyed this post, you may want to check out this past post:

http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/06/music-monday-when-right-one-comes-along.html

*****
Want to Win Skillet's new CD Rise? Enter my Instagram contest! 

How ya enter:

1. Snap a pic of what your sick of  

Sick of heartbreak.  (Inspired by life events.. **Not my Image** ) 

2.  Tag me in it @Nxt_Left 

3. Hashtag it  --   #skilletsaturday_sos84 ,  #sos84_contest 

4. Share the contest and tell others to like your picture! (If your account is private the photos can't be viewed :(  )

*I'll be featuring some of my favorites every Saturday on my blog until the contest is over :) 

*This contest will end when I finish the Skillet Saturday Series.  The Winner will be picked randomly and if the contest goes well I'll pick more than one winner! So plenty of time to win! :D Spread the word, share it, like it,ect!  So excited to see your photos!!!! 

*******

Check out my previous Skillet Saturday Posts!!!

1. Rise
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/07/rise-skillet-saturday-1.html

2. Sick of It
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/sick-of-it-skillet-saturday-2.html

3. Good to Be Alive
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/good-to-be-alive-skillet-saturday-3.html

4.  Salvation
http://kayleighryder.blogspot.com/2013/08/salvation-skillet-saturday-4.html

******

Skillet - "Hard to Find"  *lyric video*

http://youtu.be/dmfIGbqKaPo

"Hard To Find"  (Lyrics)

Turned on the TV yesterday
So much pain bleeding through I had to look away
But inside me the picture’s just the same
And every time I open up my eyes nothing seems to change

It never seems to change

You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find

When faith is hard to find
Will you still hold on

Something woke me in the night
In the midst of the darkness I recognize the light
Now inside me the picture seems so clear
All the dying in my broken dreams is starting to appear

Starting to appear

You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find

Faith is hard to find

If I fall will you hold on to me
Through it all promise you won’t lose me
These days hope is hard to come by
And tonight I don’t know how I can’t survive

You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find

When faith is hard to find
Will you still hold on

You give me faith to believe there’s a way
To put the past finally behind me
And hope to make it through another night
You give me strength during these dark times when I’m blind
You are my light when faith is hard to find