Thankful Thursday 1

If your anything like me you probably complain about people more than you should.  Complain about work, friends, family, significant other, ect.  

One of my goals this year has been to have a more positive look on life, and especially in my relationships.  Not going to lie, its super easy to complain and be negative about people when they let you down (and continue to let you down).   I also think we don't do a good job on thanking these people for all they do for us.  Especially when we're not at our best.  Or simply thanking someone for being there for us when we needed them.

Early in December of 2013,  I lost someone very dear to me.  When I found out she was gone, I was sad.  I'm still sad.  I was in shock thinking she can't be gone.  There's still so much I want to tell her.  So much I should have told her.   I'd go and sit with her and we would drink our sprites and talk about all the worlds problems. Or my worlds problems.  I'd tell her everything. Tell her my dreams, tell her the funny things.  Tell her the sad and confusing things.  She didn't always have a reply, but she always listened.   I told her and God all the time how much I wanted a true friend who would do for me what I would do for them.  I didn't realize until after she was gone, that she was my best friend.  She was one of the people I thanked God for, not often enough, for helping me keep my head on straight.  Especially when I didn't want too.

I'm so thankful  for the number of years she was in my life.  I knew she always thought it was a treat for her to have me over, but in all honesty,  I feel like I got the better end of our deal.  Being able to just listen to her give me the advice of 70 plus years or even just to feel her big hugs hold me so tight.  I love her.

The first few times I went to her resting site right after her going to be with Jesus, I probably cried and screamed until I was horse and my face swollen from crying so hard.  But God wrapped His arms around me and gave me peace!  He hit me with lyrics from most beautiful worship song.  One that we sometimes sing in my small group (7:02) on Tuesday nights.  I sang this song out loud over and over.  More peace washing over me each time I sang it.
(Song below with Lyrics)

I'm so thankful to my group 7:02 for giving me that song.


Its taken me over a year to write this post.  To get through writing or rereading any of this without having a huge meltdown.  But what made me decide to finish this post is because I needed reminding of things I'm thankful for.  I need reminding of how good God is to me.

SoThis Thankful series with take place on Tuesdays or Thursdays, or maybe both days.  But I look forward to sharing people and things I'm thankful for.  And I also plan on finishing the Skillet Rise inspired posts too.  So thank you for being patient with me, for those who even take the time to still read the few things I do post every now and then, it means alot to me. And I give you a big thanks :)

KayLeigh

This Is Who I am, 21 B-Day, Bright Future

This is Who I Am  

As I lay awake at night,
I think about the day that just went by,
Wondering if I could have changed anything to make it better.

I think about my future,
What I can do to reach my dreams,
How to achieve them, 
If I have what it takes,
And if I'm on the right path in life.

I think about my past,
All the people I've met,
Who I've liked and disliked,
My family and friends,
How I grew up,
And what I've accomplished.

I think about what's really important to me,
 My morals and values

I think of how the world works,
And I how i would change it if I could.

I think of what I've been through,
And how I feel.

At the end of the day
I think about who I am. 

~Eva Doty

*****

I love the poem above!  Its so true! I think about people who have come and gone in my 21 years of life,  like the changing of the seasons.  And not gonna lie, there are definitely days where I wish I hadn't met some of those people, the people that put dark colors on my canvas. But if it wasn't for those people as well as the good people who care about me, then it wouldn't make the brighter colors stand out, and  then I wouldn't be who I am today.  I wouldn't have the same strong beliefs and convictions if certain life events hadn't happened.  If certain people hadn't crossed paths with me.

   I would like to thank my Mom for having the biggest part of me;   for loving me and putting up with me even on days when I'm just downright mean to her.    I wouldn't be where I am now without her and I don't tell her enough how much I still need her.   Love you like a circle!

I think about my past too often.  Playing the What if game.  For the last several years I would definitely say I'm a half empty person, way more negative than I should be.  Leading lots of people to think I'm this super cheery & hopeful person,  when in reality, I feel far from that a lot of days.

And my  goal  starting in 2014 and going on, was to start thinking in a "half full" mindset and to live my life to the fullest! Dreaming big and not being afraid of what the future holds for me.

Watching the video below makes me so excited about my future! About all the exciting things God has in store for me!  (Doesn't it make you want to get up and do something?? Ive been  obsessed with this song ever since my brother showed me this video.    **and sorry for a word in the song,)

I'm learning to accept and believe in myself, which I think that can only happen as we age.

   I'm learning to forgive people who judge me for my wildly colored hair, my ever changing modest fashions,  my piercings, My love for Jesus, and  my strong/ different world views.   I'm learning to be true to myself and not to please everyone.   I still have my bad days where I'm super negative, but with God, my family and close friends, I'm doing better.

So huge thank you  to my family, my close friends and all you wonderful facebook friends for writing nice things on my birthday.  I love and care for you all!!

p.s. check out my cool titanic cake!!! Make by my LSBDSister who is gonna be the next great cake baker

And to end this post, I'll leave yall with another inspiring &  positive songs lol   (One of my all time faves, and a great theme song for us all.)  Since my awesome other mother, Mrs.Laurel got me Katy Perry tickets!!!!   THANK YOU!!!!!  LOVE YA!!!!!

So remember your all fireworks and let your colors burst!!

Thanks again to everyone who helped make my 21st birthday my best one ever, love my family and friends for driving to see me and hang out with on my 21st bday!

21 wishes, prayers and lots of love, KayLeigh

P>S>  Skillet Saturdays will start back soon! Promise! :)

Quick Update

Hey y'all!

*UPDATE*

I have been so busy wrapping up my last week of makeup artist school that it's been hard to finish what was supposed to be today's Skillet Saturday post.  But don't fret,  It will be posted soon!!!

Below are some picture *Hints* as to which song I'll be writing about.  Happy Guessing!! =D

(Isn't the above picture beautiful!)

So  I hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend!

~KayLeigh